Volver Part I

(As one friend said a few summers ago. . .)
"Coming home" is like getting on a running train."I" do not know where the otehrs started, what kind of time they spent in the train, what kind of landscape they have passed by, or what stories they have been sharing, and where they are going to take off. "I" am alienated from the time, landscape, and conversations that they have been "sharing" for a long or a short while. Vice versa, they too do not know who "I" am, "where" I am coming from and "what kind of time" I have been spending so far. "I" feel emotionally disconnected from the everyday life relationships of the other passengers.

Ironically,
it is by getting on the train, that is, by physically "sharing" the same time and space that "I" feel most disconnected. Before getting on the train, this experience of disconnection is not as clear as now. Rather, the feeling of being disconnected rises by getting on the train: before taking the train, I am strangely attached to the source of disconnection through memories and nostalgia.

what happens after all this? From the moment I get on, I have to make another home again. Everyday life is a process of making the space that I reside into a place that is inhabitable (after de Certeau). there is no "home" that's waiting for me, but only the one that I have to build.