home IS a moment

garri, you are just too bulah bulah bulah~ full of shit!

talking about Kundera, i am slowly slowly reading his "Ignorance" these days. did i tell you that the korean title is 향수 (hyangsoo), meaning "nostalgia." i finished perhaps one fourth of it: i know it does and will talk of what "volver" is about, but am having hard time re-visiting a non-academic/non-so/sci writing style/mode (it is not only a novel, but also a translation from another language...). perhaps the biggest problem for me is that i have lost literary imagination by now!

anyway, in the pages i left, Irene, the protagonista, is meeting her old friends in Prague, feeling so "alienated" from them (she orders wine for them, but they ignore her completely by going for beer). as for me, i dont feel alienated but instead think i am a bit adrift/floating around.

i am slowly "resuming" something called my amateurish "fieldwork". i am trying to navigate this time/space of in-between or volver or crossroads by engaging in this performance of doing "fieldwork": re-establishing my identity and home or negotiating my home-less-ness and anxiety at the moment. past few days, i have been feeling some kind of emotional pain while visiting certain places-these spaces and landscapes reminded me of a certain loss. i first thought i dont want to visit these places for a while, but now i think i should go visit them more and more/again and again, thus "re-make" their meaning for me and "overcome" the loss. i am re-realizing the intimacy between emotion and landscape.

p.s. i want to make this blog as AESTHETIC as possible. do you think the pic below is aesthetic ENOUGH??

p.s.2 trinh in REASSEBLAGE is great, but trinh in her new work ("dessert is watching" and "bodies in the desert") is crazy. i especially like her narratives such as these (in RE-):

"we are all "signs."

"the [ethnological] habit of giving meanings to everything"

"reality is more delicate than our imagination"

"a film about what?" "what about senegal?"