HEALING

Hei Yoni-Lu. What are you talking about Manu-Chao is for me like a social/personal healing of the immigrant life. Everyday in our life (in exile?) we have to find ways to healing with our condition of dis-location and re-location, with our body-in-crisis (this is our permanent condition).

For this reason, in this moment, I'm really interested to explore more about issues of social and personal healing in relation with dislocation and relocation. I think that part of my documentary in progress-family's memories (provisional tittle)-has to do with a some way of personal healing...trying to understand my places.....my fractures.....

manu chao, casa grande-stalgia

garri, while just listening to a manu chao song, i vaguely got to remember our "first days" in carrboro-road, i.e., when you didnt even have the name of "garri", when you didnt really "speak" english!! for me, manu chao songs strangely remind me of a process i went through in my first semester: dancing, drinking, and thus, "home-making." i think, in retrospect, manu chao's clandestino album was one of the few with which i felt comfortable and easy to dance: before, i wasnt used to dance so freely and so "publicly". this process, i think, was about initiation-crossing-place-making or being relocated through dislocation. yes, i think i am too bulah bulah bulah! ; (

No-Home Possibility?

Tired of no -home possibility. I know what this mean ragazza, But I think that also this condition is part of the diaspora lifestyle and consecuently will be a permanent condition...., nothing to do....., and remember one of our favorities cites "Home itself has been displaced and deliberately reimagined" Boym

BUT: Home in a permanent reimagination??? BU!!!!!....to much work....

wrong bumblebee

chica. this bumblebee is too cute/too domestic/too cheesy. your bumblebee image is that of being "mad".

i just wanted to say, no matter how, you can't deny your "connection" to carrboro road. that's what you have built by now w/ nights of wine, community lunches (??!), crazy parties, and walking on franklin st. every place starts as a "non-place." for marc auge, there could be particular non-places in this hyper-modernity such as metro and airport. these days, i think thinking about place and non-place should become more complicated with temporality. Example? for me, even "home" sometimes feels like a "non-place." place becomes non-place, and non-place becomes a place. i think this is the spatial paradox in the everyday life.

i'm too tired. i have been back and forth between the city and this new neighorhood. i do not feel comfortably home in either place. and this is very tiring. porca pu-ta-na!

No -Place- Connection

How is possible live in a place without connection? it is possible?
Yes, it is. My experience of living in the USA was this, living in a place without connection. A place "plane", without aesthetics almost a no-place.
For this reason I continue to think that the everyday life is our place of possibility. For me was possible live in this no-place; thanks to all our dinners, conversations, crazy parties, our friendship, all the moments that we share, in other words, for our everyday life. (and also off course to our alcoholic life-may be the best option to survive in a place like this.....)
UN BRINDISE FOR OUR EVERYDAY LIFE IN CARRBORO ROAD!!! bonbol beee, boonbol-bee..

HAIR, BOUNDARY, AND FEAR

"While rolling, the hair ring becomes stronger till it can't be broken, like our convictions. In the process we make our own boundaries/limitations and get trapped in them.

I feel the image of this hair ring and the act of rolling it is a threatening vocabulary of silent tension, suspiscion, anger, anxiety, paradoxes, secret desire, sentiment, suppression, fear and hatred."

MITHU SEN, 2003

"mira me," no more

yes, it is no more "mira me."

read the theory of hair by an indian artist above.

VOLVER AESTHETICS?

YONI YOU ARE THE REAL BLA..BLA..BLA...OK? TOO MUCH BLA..BLA..BLA..
AND WHAT YOU MEAN WITH: I WANT THIS BLOG AS MUCH ASTHETICS IS POSSIBLE?
what do you mean by aesthetics?
For the Greeks: Aesthetics: sense experience. It is in some respects the physical manifestation of the largely internalized and invisible “embodied history”.

home IS a moment

garri, you are just too bulah bulah bulah~ full of shit!

talking about Kundera, i am slowly slowly reading his "Ignorance" these days. did i tell you that the korean title is 향수 (hyangsoo), meaning "nostalgia." i finished perhaps one fourth of it: i know it does and will talk of what "volver" is about, but am having hard time re-visiting a non-academic/non-so/sci writing style/mode (it is not only a novel, but also a translation from another language...). perhaps the biggest problem for me is that i have lost literary imagination by now!

anyway, in the pages i left, Irene, the protagonista, is meeting her old friends in Prague, feeling so "alienated" from them (she orders wine for them, but they ignore her completely by going for beer). as for me, i dont feel alienated but instead think i am a bit adrift/floating around.

i am slowly "resuming" something called my amateurish "fieldwork". i am trying to navigate this time/space of in-between or volver or crossroads by engaging in this performance of doing "fieldwork": re-establishing my identity and home or negotiating my home-less-ness and anxiety at the moment. past few days, i have been feeling some kind of emotional pain while visiting certain places-these spaces and landscapes reminded me of a certain loss. i first thought i dont want to visit these places for a while, but now i think i should go visit them more and more/again and again, thus "re-make" their meaning for me and "overcome" the loss. i am re-realizing the intimacy between emotion and landscape.

p.s. i want to make this blog as AESTHETIC as possible. do you think the pic below is aesthetic ENOUGH??

p.s.2 trinh in REASSEBLAGE is great, but trinh in her new work ("dessert is watching" and "bodies in the desert") is crazy. i especially like her narratives such as these (in RE-):

"we are all "signs."

"the [ethnological] habit of giving meanings to everything"

"reality is more delicate than our imagination"

"a film about what?" "what about senegal?"

Ragazza for me VOLVER is not possible, may be VOLVER in the literally way is part of the ignorant-nostalgia that Kundera talks in his books. What about think VOLVER differently? not as a VOLVER to encounter our past life, what we left, but more as a condition of: living on the crossroads, on the borderlands is a double conscience, a double exposure of different times and spaces, a constant bifurcation. Living with these contradictions and paradoxes. What is our 'REAL' home?......, home is created and recreated again...

And remember a very important thing: Diaspora intimacy, this is what we share...

trinh as an ACTI-VIST

"activist": globally the most selling word

volver song

garri:
unfortunately, this blog doesn't support music or movie files. (poca me ceria?) click this, and you will hear the volver song. it gives me the feeling of pain of coming home, a kind of pain that's poignantly highlighted by a momentary or ephemeral joy of "coming back" itself.

the landscape here still appears so ugly, perhaps the ugliest ever for me. and maybe you are right, this has to do with my emotional state: being "home-less" at the moment. but of course i have to see yet.

"che pa son con mi to-to-po!"

i am trying to go to see any trinh film this weekend, is po/ethics yours or trinh's? there will be a lecture (?) on trinh and her works, and i am curious to see how they will introduce her? it is again a work of translation, how the same person could be understood, introduced, received ....differently in different places.

i need a camera. b a d l y...

Volver Part I

(As one friend said a few summers ago. . .)
"Coming home" is like getting on a running train."I" do not know where the otehrs started, what kind of time they spent in the train, what kind of landscape they have passed by, or what stories they have been sharing, and where they are going to take off. "I" am alienated from the time, landscape, and conversations that they have been "sharing" for a long or a short while. Vice versa, they too do not know who "I" am, "where" I am coming from and "what kind of time" I have been spending so far. "I" feel emotionally disconnected from the everyday life relationships of the other passengers.

Ironically,
it is by getting on the train, that is, by physically "sharing" the same time and space that "I" feel most disconnected. Before getting on the train, this experience of disconnection is not as clear as now. Rather, the feeling of being disconnected rises by getting on the train: before taking the train, I am strangely attached to the source of disconnection through memories and nostalgia.

what happens after all this? From the moment I get on, I have to make another home again. Everyday life is a process of making the space that I reside into a place that is inhabitable (after de Certeau). there is no "home" that's waiting for me, but only the one that I have to build.